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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28844961">Just One More</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmmaMmmm/pseuds/EmmmaMmmm'>EmmmaMmmm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>All For The Game - Nora Sakavic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Introspection, Late Night Conversations, POV David Wymack, Parental David Wymack, Protectiveness, References to Depression, Trauma, post-Baltimore</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 03:41:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28844961</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmmaMmmm/pseuds/EmmmaMmmm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When the dust has settled, Wymack reflects on the childhood Neil had, and the childhood that he deserved.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Just One More</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>CW: Mild references to drug abuse, overdoses, suicidal thoughts, child abuse and Baltimore.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Wymack couldn't sleep.</p>
<p>Usually he had no problems with that. His trauma, as Betsy liked to call it, was in the past, and he didn't relive it at night like he knew some of his Foxes did. This was different though, because again this wasn't <em>his</em> trauma; it was Neil's.</p>
<p>He'd lost Foxes before. Given the way he recruited, it was inevitable. Losing Seth had been painful, almost the hardest pill he'd ever had to swallow. This, somehow, despite knowing that Neil was still alive, was much worse. Death is finite, peaceful. Living with trauma is worse, and he hated that the one suffering was <em>Neil</em>.</p>
<p>Neil, who had spent the last year pulling the team together without realising it. Neil, who had done so even knowing that he was likely to be dead come May. Neil, who had given Kevin courage and Andrew a heart and Nicky a brain like he was the fucking Wizard of Oz. Neil, who was slowly becoming a person with his team at his side.</p>
<p>Neil, who had spent the evening all but clinging to Andrew's side as he told them everything, told them about his life on the run, his dead mother, and his serial killer father. That had been the hardest pill to swallow. Wymack wasn't a particularly violent man, but he hoped that Nathan Wesninski had suffered. Unfortunately, that didn't seem to be the case. They never suffer as much as they should.</p>
<p>And so there he was, rolling around in a bed that was too hot considering it was the middle of March, because he couldn't sleep. Because he kept running through everything Neil had ever told him in his mind and he was <em>angry</em>.</p>
<p>At the start of the year, when Neil had found out that he would be facing Riko fuckface on an Exy court and said, "I'm not ready". <em>Not</em>, as he'd thought then, a reflection on what skills he thought be had, but rather an unwillingness to let go of the one good thing he'd found. Every time Neil flinched away from him, an advancing man who was old enough to be his father. When Nicky had called Neil his friend and Neil had acted as though it was the fucking Holy Grail.</p>
<p>He was too young to be so ruined by circumstances out of his control. Although, Wymack supposed all of his Foxes were. That didn't make him any more willing to accept what Neil had been through. The scars had been difficult to see when he didn't know what had caused them - now that he knew, he wanted to... to...</p>
<p>He rolled over again. He wondered how Andrew was handling it, if he'd settled anymore now that he'd had Neil in his sights for a solid twenty four hours or more. Wymack had wondered, since he'd come back from Easthaven, what it would take for him to feel something and now he had his answer. He just wished it hadn't been at the expense of another of his Foxes.</p>
<p>He wasn't a father, but the Foxes were his kids, were absolutely under his care. If he could take away the things that had hurt them, he would in a heartbeat, but most of those things weren't possible to take away. He couldn't take Nicky away from his homophobic parents because he was already away from them and had been when he'd met him. He couldn't get Matt out of his father's life and away from the temptation of his drugs, because he already <em>was</em> out of there. He couldn't take away the years of abuse and manipulation and fucking <em>rape</em> that Andrew had to suffer through away. He couldn't take away any of it, and he would have to live with that.</p>
<p>His goal was to give them more chances than they'd already been given. Some days that was enough. Some days, like today, it felt like barely a fraction of what they deserved.</p>
<p>He rolled over again, and this time he stretched his arm out to grab his phone from his bedside table.</p>
<p>
  <em>Are you awake?</em>
</p>
<p>Instead of responding with a text, Abby immediately called him. He answered.</p>
<p>"Can't sleep?"</p>
<p>Wymack sighed, running a hand down his face. "He was just a kid. He <em>is</em> just a kid."</p>
<p>"Your bleeding heart must be weeping."</p>
<p>He could hear the smile in her voice as she spoke, and it settled him just a little bit, as it always did.</p>
<p>"He got taken away right under our noses, Abby."</p>
<p>Abby sighed. "For what it's worth, David, I don't think you could possibly be feeling angrier about that than Andrew was."</p>
<p>That <em>was</em> true. Wymack didn't get scared of Andrew - he was over a foot taller than him and even with his knives, had a lot more past experience of fights. But he had almost been scared of Andrew in Baltimore, when Neil was missing. It was nice to finally have evidence to prove what he already knew - that Andrew was about as much of a sociopath as Nicky was.</p>
<p>"I'm meant to protect my kids."</p>
<p>"You can't protect them from a threat you aren't aware of."</p>
<p>"I should've been aware."</p>
<p>"You can't expect yourself to know everything." Abby sighed. "Neil didn't want you to know. I'm sure he's glad you respected that."</p>
<p>“He’s so <em>young</em>, Abby.” Wymack ran a hand back through thinning hair; it had been falling out since the cousins joined the team with all the extra stress that brought. “He was dealt such a shitty hand.”</p>
<p>Abby hummed quietly into the phone for a moment, and even the sound of that was calming enough to give Wymack the chance to take a slow breath before she continued talking.</p>
<p>“Those kids are at home here, David,” she said finally. “You’ve given them that. You gave Andrew a father figure who won’t make him suicidal, and you gave Nicky yet another place where he can be safe to be who he is. You gave Kevin and Neil and all those kids a <em>sanctuary</em>, and that’s so important. They’re healing because of the environment that you created, and that’s nothing short of extraordinary to those kids.”</p>
<p>Wymack sighed, closing his eyes into the sound of her voice. These days, when he got frustrated or angry, it was enough to bring him back into the moment.</p>
<p>“Get some sleep, David,” she said after a moment. “Dream good dreams about how you saved those kids.”</p>
<p>“They saved themselves.”</p>
<p>“Only because you gave them a safe place to do so.” Abby clicked her tongue once and then hung up. Wymack sighed and looked through his contacts just quickly, pausing on the name ‘Neil Josten’. Then he turned the screen off and set his phone aside.</p>
<p>The only good thing to come of this? He knew for certain that if Neil needed help, he would be able to turn to him. It was almost enough to make him smile. And if he <em>did</em> smile, well… there was nobody around to see it anyway.</p>
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